At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
