There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
