Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
