HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
