I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
