I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
how drunk are you?
Several
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
