last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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