You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
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I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
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