I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
