The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
