absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
