they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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