If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
