I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
