Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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