that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
