STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
