I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
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