porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
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i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
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Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!