oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.