just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.