Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.