its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.