Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me