I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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