You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
And then he peed in my hair
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
