SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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