we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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