dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
