It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
