I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
