I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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