I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
