just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
