Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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