Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
