I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
