dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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