dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
