I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
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We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
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At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?