anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.