I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize