just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
