I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice