yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE