piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.