Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
