I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
