Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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