He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize