too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
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