he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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