Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
