Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
