im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize