question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
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