I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
It's Friday. Sex?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
