Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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