You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
