hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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