My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
So squirting runs in the family.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize