so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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