Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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