break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I have fence marks all over my body
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize