hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Semen is not good for contacts.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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