Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He kissed a someone with a penis
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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