K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
