No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize