I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
