North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
We had sex on a dog bed..
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Randomize
