she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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