The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
