hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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